I just spent time writing two blog posts, and ended up deleting both of them. I really don’t want this to become “Bryan’s Book Reviews,” as it seems to be at the moment, but it seems like I have the worst case of writer’s block that I’ve had in awhile. I haven’t even had the desire to write for the last week or so until today. Now, I really want to write but can’t get anything out.

The first post was going to be a look at Derek Webb’s song, “The Spirit vs. The Kick Drum.” I wanted to take a look at Derek’s use of the trinity in structuring the song (“Spirit… Son… Father”) and how he prophetically critiques our (particularly American) way of constructing the Trinity into an idol of our own making, reflecting our sinfully consumerist mindset. It’s not the Spirit we yearn for, but “the kick-drum,” e.g. the sense of emotive experience that music can drive us too. We take that as a sign of God’s presence over the reality of the Spirit’s indwelling us. We also want “a jury of peers” instead of the Son, because a sinner being judged by other sinners makes us comfortable, while being a sinner judged by a Holy, Just, Perfect God does not. At all. So, instead, we make Jesus to be like one of our good friends “who will understand,” or who “would never judge me for being who I am.” Finally, we come to the Father, “want[ing] a vending machine.” A brilliant critique of our hearts, where we think that if we come to God with the right formula, push the right buttons corresponding to what we want, and out comes our desire. A divine C-5 if you will.

The second post I tried to write was on my identity crisis of late. I’ve been getting more and more frustrated with two overlapping groups that I am firmly a part of: evangelicalism and the “young, restless, reformed” crowd. My frustrations come from the fact that over the last few months I’ve realized that I don’t quite fit the molds of either of the two. I’m worried by some of the stuff I read coming out of the cross-section of both, which sound more and more like a form of neo-fundamentalism (complete with our own translation onlyism). Only this time, the rhetoric is coming from people would would decry the fundamentalism of the 40s and 50s.

As I stated, I’m a text-book evangelical, and certainly reformed theologically, but I just don’t feel comfortable within those conversations anymore. Not primarily because of theology, but because of how it plays out practically.

So there are the two blog posts I couldn’t get out separately.

One of the good things that has come out of the last few months—working through issues of “identity,” fighting off gout, and trying to sever the root of my own idolatry—is that I am ever more aware for my need of the Gospel. The gout and issues of identity and defintion has shattered my independence, and my idol factory of the heart reminds me that my righteousness is not my own. In the end, it is the gospel which works in all these areas. It points me to the reality of the new creation where all things are made right and there will be no gout. It reminds me of just how great a sinner I am, and how great a savior Jesus is. And lastly, it reminds me that the only identity which truly matters is our Galatians 2:20 identity:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

The past two weeks have been a frustrating battle with gout. Previous to this attack, I haven’t had a bad attack in almost two years. I have it in both ankles, and it has made walking and standing extremely painful— excruciating at first, but now I can walk, run, and jump with only a dull ache. At least I can function normally now.

A 25 year old shouldn’t be able to write that paragraph. Unfortunately, that’s the reality I’ve been dealing with these past two weeks. I’ve had gout for about 6 years now, and as I said, this is the worst its been in almost two-years. So how do I move from that to the title of this post? No, I’m not super-spiritual, and I don’t thank God for my gout when I pray. Truth be told, I have some pretty frank discussions with God about it. Well… I run my mouth off like Job, and He continues His patience with me. But, I have had time these last two weeks to reflect on gout, and I do believe, deep down, that it is a blessing. In a recent e-mail to my community group (which I’m extremely blessed to be able to lead), I gave a list of three reasons that I’m blessed with gout:

1. I’m an incredibly prideful person. Not being able to walk forces me to rely on others for simple things, and shatters any sense of pride I have.
2. It causes me focus on the promises of God. One day there will be a new creation—a new heavens and new earth—where we celebrate abundant life in the presence of Jesus himself. There will be no more sin, pain, death, tears, disabilities, etc for eternity. Gout sends me to Revelation 21.
3. It drives me to the cross. Gout is merely a symptom of a bigger issue: our sinfulness. It is for this very sinfulness that Jesus died on the cross. Each flare-up reminds me of the reality of sin and its effects on us and our world.

I wouldn’t be upset if God decided to heal me, but as long as I continue to have gout, I pray that my thinking about it would be redeemed and that I could keep this mental list in front of me.

(Astute readers will notice the irony of one of the categories I placed this post under.)

I’m far too cynical. This is somewhat a result of my nature, but in the past two years or so I’ve seen my cynicism grow. There have been times when this has been checked, and went dormant for a while, but it would eventually come back. There used to be a time when I was a lot more idealistic, and a bit of a dreamer. This would cause me to marvel at life. I would get lost in nature (literally and metaphorically) and see God’s beauty and creativity. I would rejoice at stories of life being given—whether it be a birth, or the selfless acts of someone towards someone else, or…etc. And sure, those things still get to me. On a good day. If I search hard enough. They certainly don’t spring up in everyday occurrences like they did before. The problem is, I still talk as if I was astonished each and every day. I wasn’t intentionally lying. I just didn’t realize that I hadn’t been lost in astonishment and awe quite like I used to be. This is because it’s a subtle movement, where I haven’t lost all astonishment. Just enough over a period of time to not notice it.

John Walton offered this corrective in Proposition (=chapter) 17 of “The Lost World of Genesis One:”
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A while back, I added a post on my philosophy of ministry. I’ve revised it, and wanted to go ahead and post the new one as well.
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This evening, I will be marrying my fiancée. I’m am so thankful for such a beautiful gift from our Lord. I do not deserve such grace.

I pray that this day would glorify God, and remind us that one glorious day, Jesus will return for his bride and restore this broken world to it’s intended glory. We pray for your return, Lord, and to be in your presence forever in the garden-city.

[No, I will not be live-tweeting the ceremony ]

As I was translating a bit more out of 2 Corinthians chapter 2 tonight, verse 12 and 13 jumped out at me like a lion on a gazelle (too much?). Here’s the text:

When I reached Troas to preach Christ’s gospel, the Lord gave me an opportunity, but I had no peace of mind because I could not find my brother Titus. So, I left those at Troas, and departed for Macedonia.

The text literally reads “a door was opened to me by the Lord.” So here’s my question- is it ever ok to just walk away from an “open door?” Paul specifically tells us that it was an opportunity (open door, if you will) that was given to him by Jesus himself. Was it a sinful act for Paul to just walk away from it?

There’s something we have to keep in mind- just because the Bible records a historical act does not mean that God gives his stamp of approval. The passage here is simply Paul telling the Corinthians what he did during his travels that had kept him from coming to them as he first expected too. Paul is not giving an ethical judgment on his actions; he is simply stating what he did.

But that’s what makes it so weird for me… Paul is somewhat flippant about it. “Jesus gave me an opportunity to preach the Gospel, but I skipped out on it and went to hang out in Macedonia because I was sad that I couldn’t find Titus.” My opinion is that we shouldn’t miss out on divine opportunities, and that Paul was in the wrong here- but there’s two qualifying remarks I need to make here: 1. This is an opinion that I would give up if I was being persecuted for it. And by that I mean I would recant as soon as I saw them approach. 2. I’m just stuck on the flippancy of the statement.

Also, I get it. Not the point of the passage. If I was preaching this, it would be a sub-sub point. The point Paul is getting at is that he was so worried about finding Titus because it was Titus who was bringing Paul the news of how things were going at Corinth. When we couldn’t find Titus, his worry about the welfare of the Corinthians overwhelmed him. Paul was torn between Troas and Corinth. I really like what David Garland says on verse 13:

“This sad account reveals how interconnected Christians are. We cannot hurt one another without also hurting the work of God in the world. Paul does not discuss whether it was the right thing to do to abandon a place where God had made an opportunity. His uneasiness over the Corinthians, however, made it impossible for him to continue his work there.”¹

Hmm. You know what? My original question doesn’t matter anymore. The question I should have asked first is, “do I have this same heart for those I minister to?” If you want to answer the question posed in this post, go ahead. It’s an important question. But I realized it’s not the most important question. I’m off to pray and ask Paul’s ministerial heart.

An updated philosophy of Ministry can be found here: Revised Philosophy of Ministry

I was looking over the application process for Sojourn’s Pastoral School when one of the requirements caught my eye. They require a philosophy of ministry. I’m not even sure what a philosophy of ministry is let alone ever thought of one for myself. Well, I had a few hours to think about it during my drive to West Virginia for the weekend, and this is what I came up with. In terms of pastoral ministry, my philosophy of ministry is:

To equip and train the body of Christ to be incarnational missionaries through the preaching and teaching of the Scriptures in accordance with the historical orthodox faith.

That’s loaded with a lot of nice Christianese, so I’m going to try and unpack that.

1. To equip and train the body of Christ: Ephesians 4:11-12 says that “Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” The use of the gifts given for teaching and leadership are for the purpose of training the body of Christ for service.

2. Incarnational Missionaries: I’ll take this phrase in reverse order. We have come to a place where “missionaries” are “those people,” the ones who don’t quite fit in culturally, wear funny clothes, and want to live in huts. Obviously, that isn’t what it means to be a missionary, but it’s also not just about going somewhere across the ocean. It’s my belief that all Christians are missionaries, and the mission starts with neighbors, with coworkers, and with those we come into contact with every day. We are all ambassadors of Christ:2 Corinthians 5:20, “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so nthat they may see your good works and ogive glory to your Father who is in heaven.” By incarnational, I mean that this mission occurs where the people are at. Just as Jesus came into our world to present his glory ot the world (John 1:14), so we should speak of his glory where we find ourselves. The gospel is not about “bringing them to church to get saved,” but proclaiming the Gospel, in both word and deed, wherever we are at.

3. Through the preaching and teaching of the scriptures: The inerrant, inspired Scriptures are the highest authority in rules of life and faith. It is these scriptures which Paul charged Timothy to teach as an elder (1 and 2 Timothy). “All Scripture is God–breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work,” 2 Timothy 3:16-17. All pastors share in Paul’s exhortation to Timothy to “correctly handle the Word of Truth” contained within Scripture (2 Timothy 2:15).

4. According to the historical orthodox faith: This isn’t to say that tradition is on the same level as Scripture itself, but to recognize that God has guarded the truth apostolic faith through history, and is summarized by creeds and confessions. This helps us realize that Christianity isn’t all about us, but that we are only the present articulation of the whole Church throughout history. God has long been at work, and will continue to work long after we are gone if he doesn’t return in our lifetimes. To use a cliché, but one that is well said, we “stand on the shoulders of giants,” and are grateful for the labor they gave to move the mission and kingdom of God forward.

So there you have it. That’s my philosophy of ministry as much as I understand what a philosophy of ministry should be.

Well, seeing as how tomorrow is my one and only final for this semester, I’ve spent most of the day plugging away at it. I have my Hebrew final tomorrow at 7am (est), so I’m sure most of you who read my blog won’t get this until then, but I would really appreciate your prayers! The test will consist of 10 or 11 verses from the book of Jonah, with 20 verbs to parse from the text. I’ve went through the vocab that I’m unfamiliar with once today, and then read through each of the chapters in Hebrew. I’m not 100 percent confident, but neither am I that worried. As long as we stay out of the last few verses of chapter 4 I should do well. I plan on hitting the vocab once more then going to bed. Thanks for the prayers!

Just a quick update.

This weekend was great… but overwhelming. I travelled home with my fianceé to take part in our first wedding shower, which was held on Saturday. We got lots of great stuff and are very thankful for our friends and family. Then on Sunday I preached on Mark 1:1-15, focusing on Mark’s answer to the question, “but who do you say that I am?” from Mark 8:29. The identity of Jesus is one of Mark’s main theological themes throughout the Gospel, and is heavily featured in his prologue. Immediately after the service, we had some home cooked food thanks to my mom and made the trip back to Louisville. It was a whirlwind of a weekend, but full of grace and goodness.

This semester has about 3 more weeks in it and I’m feeling the strain. I have 3 papers to write, another chapter for Dr. Greg Allison’s forthcoming book to edit, and the hardest section of Hebrew grammar (for the book we’re using) to go. Pray for me!

Confession time. I haven’t taken a Sabbath day since my semester started in January. Now before I unpack that sentence, and any questions are asked, I will say upfront that I am not a Sabbatarian. I will not be defending that statement in the post or in the comments, so don’t try and start that conversation. I will say that I am an advocate of the Sabbath principle, and think at the very least we should acknowledge the Lord’s day as sacred time. By Sabbath principle, I mean that we should have a full day of rest, but I won’t tell you what that rest looks like, or what day it is on. Certainly, in Exodus, the Sabbath is grounded in creation, so I believe there is some part or idea about it that is to be practiced. I will also say that Sunday appears to have meaning in the New Testament and early Church as the Lord’s Day- a day set apart for the Lord. I won’t tell you what that should look like either, as it depends on you and your context.
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