Mike at ΕΝ ΕΦΕΣΩ is apparently tired of my long periods of silence, and has tagged me in to memes. The first of the two is the “Funny things in ancient literature” meme, where we are to… well… mention something funny from ancient literature. Three things immediately sprang to mind for this meme.

First, we have the Apostle Paul:

Ὄφελον καὶ ἀποκόψονται οἱ ἀναστατοῦντες ὑμᾶς.

which, translated, says: “I wish that those who bother you [by saying you need to be circumcised] would just cut the whole thing off!”
-or-
“I wish that those who bother you wouldn’t stop at the foreskin!”

Wow, Paul.

Second is the prophet Elijah:

‏ויהי בצהרים ויהתּל בהם אליהו ויאמר קראו בקול־גדול כי־אלהים הוא כי שיח וכי־שיג לו וכי־דרך לו אולי ישן הוא ויקץ

Translated:
When it was around noon, Elijah began to mock the prophets of Baal: “Shout louder! He is a god after all! Maybe he is busy daydreaming, or maybe he’s using the bathroom or he has left to go on a journey! Perhaps he’s asleep and you need to wake him up!” (1 Kings 18:27)

Oh Elijah. Of course, the best Old Testament story goes to Elijah’s protégé Elisha. Check it out:

Elisha went up to bethel, and as he was walking along the road some children came out from the town and began to make fun of him. “Get out of here, baldy!” They said. Elisha turned around, looked at them, and cursed them in the name of YHWH. Two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youth. So Elisha went on to Mount Carmel, and returned to Samaria from there. 2 Kings 2:23-25.

Hahahaha. That’s hardcore. This is made even better in the KJV/ESV where they translated the gender of the word for bears as “she bears.” You DO NOT mess with God’s annointed—especially the bald ones.

I’m tagging Brad, Jacob, and Rick.