…on the existence of God, I think my opening statement will be:
“Bananas squid bubbles five pepsi.”
And then I would sit down.

Then, when the moderator would ask me to explain myself, I would say:
“You see, my opponent is an atheist. This means that he doesn’t believe that anything exists outside of matter necessarily. ‘The universe is all there was, is, and ever will be.’ Everything that exists is a collection of atoms. This means that nothing can exist outside of matter. Yet the laws of logic are outside of matter- they certainly aren’t made up of atoms!

But for language to work, the laws of logic must necessarily exist. Meaning and syntax demands it. If there is no such thing as the law of non-contradiction, then words can have any meaning you want and syntax falls apart. If this is true, then what I just said is about as good of an opening statement as you will get, and since words can have any meaning, I declare that ‘bananas squid bubbles five pepsi’ sufficient enough to win this argument. But of course ‘winning’ means nothing, because it could mean ‘to win’ or ‘to lose.’ Either way, let’s call this a draw and go get some lunch.”

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